Survival
by YouSlyThing
Summary: What do you do when you can't cope with everything happening around you anymore? You find a way to Survive! A Snape/Hermione story. M for language and possibly some smut in later chapters!
1. Chapter 1

_We do what we can to survive. It's human nature. Everyone does it differently. Some people run and hide. Some people mask their hurt and their pain and their fear. Some fight hard, to protect what the have left. Some forget the past, and look to the future. And some find solace in others._

_None of the above are classified as the wrong way to survive, as there is no right or wrong way to survive. Each person survives in a way that is easiest to them. The technical definition for Survival is: __**'The state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances.'**_

_I use a combination of the above to survive. _

_I run and hide from my friends when things get too much for me._

_I mask my hurt and my pain everyday. Both my physical and my emotional pain._

_I fight. I fight hard to stop the forces that are threatening to overtake me each and every day of my existence and I fight to protect my mind._

_I block out the past, because that is the cause of all my hurt and pain._

_And I have found solace. Solace in someone who I shouldn't have. _

_It all started so innocently. I remember the day it started, whatever you label __**it**__ as._

I was sat at Gryffindor, eating my lunch and minding my own business, when it happened. Ron sat down beside me and started to shovel the food into his mouth like there was nothing wrong. But then, there never was for him.

He wasn't grieving. He wasn't even acting like had participated in the war. It was all water off his back, and that really pissed me off.

How could he sit there and act like nothing had _ever_ happened? Like we weren't eating in a hall where hundreds of people had been murdered? It sickened me to my core.

But then, maybe that's my problem. I see things people don't. I still see the bodies of every single person who died in this hall. I see exactly where they fell, exactly where their blood was spilled, exactly where their soul left their body, and it haunts me. Every single night. It haunts me.

And I know it haunts Harry. It's hard to spot, but it's there. You can see there isn't as much light in his eyes as their used to be, like the fire has gone. His hand jerks to his scar occasionally, like he's remembering the past, and he hesitates sometimes before entering the hall.

I notice all these things, but some people don't. He puts on a brave face when people come up and ask him about the war. But he's got Ginny, and thank god he does. I have no one. I tried to turn to Ron, but he left. They always do, so now, I suffer in silence. And alone.

It was particularly bad today. I don't know why, but I think Harry sensed it too. He seemed more on edge and was even flinching to Ginny's light touches.

"Harry" I whispered. He looked at me with a distant expression in his eyes. I jerked my head to the door lightly and he looked to it then back to me before nodding.

I got up, as he did, ignoring the queries from Ginny and Ron and we headed out.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"I don't know. There's something wrong today" He said.

"I feel it too. It's like there's something in the hall and it's pushing out it's magic" I croaked.

"I'm sure we're just being paranoid" He rationalized. I nodded and we headed back in.

We were sitting back down when something brushed past my neck, like a whisper of wind. I looked behind me, but there was nothing. Must have just been a draft.

A few minutes later it happened again, but this time there was a whisper with it, a manical, bitter whisper.

"_Mudblood"_

I looked behind me quickly but there was no one there. I was really starting to get scared, but no one seemed to notice anything.

A few more brushes against my neck and then I heard it. Everyone heard it. You couldn't not hear it it was that loud.

A cackle. The cackle of a maniac, of a deranged person who had escaped from somewhere. The type of cackle to make the hairs on your neck stand on end.

And I knew that cackle. It haunted me in my sleep.

I whipped my head furiously around the hall, searching for the source, but it was nowhere to be found. Certain Professors had drawn their wands, they too knew that laugh.

Then again, it rang through the hall, the notes bouncing from wall to wall like a ball.

Candles flickered, the ceiling looked distressed as dark storm clouds rolled in.

Then, from the ground she rose.

Her translucent from, gliding up from the ground. Even in death, she had an evil grace about her.

Before I knew what I was doing, my feet had taken me from my seat and were carrying me out of the hall at a pace I didn't know I was capable of.

"Come back my little Mudblood!" She screamed, followed by her high pitched laugh.

I ran and ran and ran and ran. I ended up in the dungeons, not the best place to hide from a maniac ghost who's hellbent on torturing you.

Hearing noises behind me, I dived into the nearest alcove and covered my ears with my hands and concentrated on my breathing, not the sound of her laugh, or her high voice or the sound of her speaking the words that shattered my world.

Just my breathing.

Then I felt like I was on fire. Every inch of me burned. Like a white heat. Every breath I took scorched my lungs and my mouth and every exhale felt like there was molten lava being spit up my throat.

The burning got worse and worse until every single limb was burning with a pain I had never encountered before. Screaming for help, I clawed at my skin, trying anything to get rid of the burn. Nothing worked, it just got worse the more I clawed at myself. Until suddenly, it was gone.

And there was... nothing. I couldn't feel anything. Not my hands, not my feet, not the ground beneath me or the wall in which I was cowered against. I couldn't even feel my breath come out of my mouth.

It was like heaven.

And I planned to stay here forever.

No more having to deal with Ron, or nightmares, or anything.

Just this weightless feeling of heaven.

.

.

.

.

I must have stayed there for days, if not weeks before my paradise ended and I crashed back to reality and pain.

"Don't move. You'll hurt yourself" A voice crooned.

It was so soothing, like a blanket of silk flowing over me.

"K" I mumbled.

I felt something being poured over me or rubbed into me and it stung. I hissed and the silk voice apologised.

"Where am I?"

"You're safe"

I accepted that and more stinging hit me. I hissed again and once again, he apologised.

With every sting, I was being pulled further and further towards consciousness and I started to grasp harder at it when things started happening.

First, there were the sounds.

Breathing, so light it was nearly undetectable, but in the silence of wherever we were, it was noticable. And it wasn't mine. He was breathing in a different time to me.

Next there were tastes. The taste of metal in my mouth, that reminded me of copper.

Then the touches. I twitched my fingers and moved my hands a little bit and found the surface beneath me soft to touch, like cashmere and velvet. And cushiony, like a bed. I must have been on a bed.

I pried my eyes open a tiny bit and looked at my surroundings.

Deep blue surrounded me, like the drapes on the beds in Gryffindor tower. But the drapes in Gryffindor tower were all Maroon, not blue. This wasn't Gryffindor tower.

Blue... Blue... Blue.

Ravenclaw tower?

Who out of Ravenclaw would have taken me all the way from the Dungeons up there? That's like 12 floors from here.

"If you think too much you'll hurt your head. It's in a fragile state at the minute"

I whipped my head to my right and regretted it instantly. A very large and very painful throbbing filled my head.

"I told you not to move. Keep your eyes closed and open your mouth"

I obeyed and lay there, waiting for the relief. Thankfully it came quickly.

Carefully and slowly, I opened my eyes and got the shock of my life when I saw Severus Snape sitting before me, reading casually in a chair.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, scared the fire will creep back up my throat if I raise my voice too much.

"You're in my rooms. I'm allowed here" He explained.

I looked around. Bed. Wardrobe. Drawers.

Oh god!

"This is your bedroom" I said as the realization dawned on me.

"Well deduced Sherlock Holmes" He joked with a roll of his eyes

"Why am I in your room?"

"You don't remember?" He inquired, taking his glasses off and putting his book on the bedside table.

"It wasn't a dream, was it?"

He shook his head silently. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing the tears to go away.

"The curse is gone though" He said.

"Curse?"

"Bellatrix cursed you. She knew she could come back as a ghost and she cursed you the night she tortured you. Her curse was that every time you saw her in ghost form, it would bring you the utmost pain, both physically and mentally" He explained.

"Great" I whispered sarcastically.

We stayed in silence for a long time.

"How did you get rid of her?"

"_I_ didn't. Dumbledore dealt with her. When I saw you run, I came after you" He explained. His voice and face both expressed concern.

"They were your footsteps I heard. I dove into the alcove thinking it was her" I confessed.

"I know. I figured you would. But your screams..." He didn't finish that sentence.

"I expect everyone heard then" I said.

"No. Dumbledore made something up to account for you running, and I cast very powerful silencing charms every time I turned a corner. No one heard a thing. They don't even know you're down here, I left through the staff door"

"Thank you... For coming to rescue me" I elaborated.

"I wouldn't wish that pain on anybody"

I smiled lightly and tried to sit up. He stood immediately and pulled the pillows up behind me and helped me into a seating position.

"Thank you Professor"

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"Stiff. My legs and arms hurt the most, but not as much as earlier" I told him. He seemed to take mental note of this.

"Yesterday." He said.

"Pardon?"

"Not as much as yesterday. It's Wednesday" He explained.

"What time?" I enquired.

"8pm"

"I slept for over 24 hours?" I asked, shocked.

"I drained your magic for a bit, don't worry, I put it back! I had to drain you to get rid of the curse, but when I drained you, it exhausted you. I was surprised you slept for _only_ 24 hours. I was expecting more" He said.

"Sir, draining someone's magic is very tiring. Have you slept yourself?" I asked.

"Yes. A little. It wasn't as tiring as I expected. I'm fine"

I let it drop. I was still a little shocked that I was conversing so freely with the bat of the dungeons.

"Something wrong Ms Granger?"

"This is the longest conversation I've had with anyone since last May" I confessed.

"Ah. Well, lets test your knowledge while you're still chatty"

We spent the next hour or so testing my knowledge on all the different subjects.

"I have to ask, why did you run to the dungeons? Why not move through the higher levels of the castle?" He asked.

I shrugged and spent some time contemplating this before I realised why.

"I know why. Your class is the only class Ron doesn't bug me. It's the only class I can get some peace, because he's so scared of you" I said.

"Good. I like that. Would you like something to read? I'm sure you're itching to get your hands on a book" He smirked.

"To be honest, my head hurts too much to read. I think I'd just like to lie here" I sighed.

"Would you like me to get you anything?" He asked.

"Could you give Harry a note for me. I think he might be worried about me" I said.

"Of course. Let me get you some parchment and a quill"

And he disappeared through a door at the foot of the bed. A minute later he returned and I penned my note.

_'Harry,_

_I'm fine. I don't know what Dumbledore told you all about my running off, but I don't really want to talk about it. I think you can figure it out, and if you have told Ron and Ginny about it already, that's OK, but otherwise, please keep it a secret._

_I'm still in the castle, but I don't know when I'll be OK enough to leave here, and no, I'm not in the infirmary. Please don't hassle whoever delivers this note about my whereabouts, just know that I'm safe. Also please don't show this note to Ginny and Ron. Right now, you're the only person I can trust about my safety. I'm not trying to keep them in the dark, I just need to be left alone for a bit. So go with the story Dumbledore ran with please._

_I promise you I'm safe. _

_Hermione.'_

"All done?" Snape asked. I nodded and handed him the folded parchment.

"Will you be OK on your own for a while? I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore and I'll deliver this note to Potter while I'm out" He said.

"I'll be fine. Could you make sure that only Harry reads this? Thank you Professor" I said. He nodded and swept out of the room.

SNAPE'S POV

Leaving Ms Granger on the bed, I made my way up through the levels of the school, until I was stood at the gargoyle outside Albus' office.

"Gumdrops" I pronounced clearly.

"Ah, Severus. How are you?" Albus asked, jolly and full of joy as usual.

"Good. A bit tired, but good nonetheless."

"How is Ms Granger? Is she awake yet?" He enquired.

"Yes. She woke up at 8. She has sent me with a note for Potter. I think the incident has really shaken her up" I said.

"Really? In what way?" He asked, leaning forward on the desk.

"She isn't as focused as she usually is. Her knowledge of facts and schoolwork is still intact, but it seems she's scared. Very scared"

"You would be too if the woman who ruined your life came back to haunt you"

I nodded and took that into consideration.

"Talk to her." He said, taking me out of my reverie.

"Excuse me?"

"You know better than anyone else the horrors of the world she entered."

I sighed and thought about it.

"Fine, but don't make this one of your projects. And I'm only doing this because if it wasn't for her, I'd be rotting in the boat shed" I snapped.

"Thank you Severus. Now, go to Gryffindor tower. The password is Caput Draconis" He told me. I nodded and left the office.

He always manages to do something like that. Twist whatever I go to tell him into something else for me to do. But I had to admit, that Granger wasn't as vibrant as she used to be. She WAS just a child heading into this war, but she seems to have come out of it worse for wear. She still performs 100% in my class, but I have noticed she doesn't raise her hand half as much as she used to, and she isn't sneaking instructions to Weasley or Potter or Longbottom.

I stood before the Fat Lady, who was giving me a distasteful glare.

"I am here under the request of Albus Dumbledore. Caput Draconis" I said. She glared at me, before opening the door. I strode in and the entire common room froze.

"Potter. Is he here?" I asked.

Potter stood slowly.

"Come with me" I said and I left through the portrait door again.

I heard his footsteps follow me and I stopped and turned to him.

"I... I didn't do anything Professor. I swear" He stuttered. I rolled my eyes.

"I know Potter. I'm not here to give you detention. Ms Granger asked me to give this to you, and she gave me strict instructions to make sure that only you read it. I'm guessing that means no Weasleys" I said, handing him the note.

"Thank you Professor. Is she OK? Where is she? Can I see her?" He asked, firing multiple questions at me.

"Yes she is OK. She's awake. She is at an undisclosed location, but she is safe. And you can't see her yet. She needs more rest. I'll see if she wants you to see her before I make a decision. I suggest you read the note out here before you go in" I explained.

"Thank you again" He said and he made to go.

"One more thing Potter. Is Ms Granger OK? She seems very distant and unfocused" I said.

"You noticed that too? Not many people have. She has nightmares, very bad ones, from the war. And I assume you know the Bellatrix thing" He said. I nodded like I knew.

He obviously seemed very concerned for her welfare.

"What I'm about to tell you stays between you and I. Clear?" I asked. He nodded.

"Bellatrix cursed Ms Granger when they met. Bellatrix knew she would be able to come back as a ghost if she died, so she made it that if she came back, Ms Granger would experience the most excruciating pain anyone can experience. I removed the curse, but she still has memories of it. If she wants to speak about it when she returns, talk to her, but don't bring it up. As far as she's concerned, you don't know what happened" I warned. He nodded furiously.

"Take care of her" He said and he left.

I wandered back down through the levels of the castle and re-entered my quarters.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her as I sat in the chair I had previously occupied.

"Better. The throbbing in my head has calmed a bit. Did you give Harry the note?"

"Yes. I told him to read it before going back into the common room and told him not to let anyone else see it"

She sighed in relief and relaxed against the pillows.

We sat in silence for a bit, before I decided to man up and do what Dumbledore wanted me to do.

"Ms Granger, I have to ask, what did Bellatrix do to you?"

HERMIONE'S POV

"Ms Granger, I have to ask, what did Bellatrix do to you?"

I pulled a shuddering breath through my teeth.

"She... She spent 2 days torturing me. And then, she went and sought out my parents and murdered them in front of me" I confessed, my eyes filling with tears very quickly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I knew the three of you were captured, but I didn't know what she did, and I definitely didn't know about your parents" He said. I nodded, and a sob filled my throat and echoed throughout the room.

A box of tissues quickly found their way into my lap and I used them well.

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like to lose you parents so young. My father killed my mother when I was in my 5th year" He confessed. I sobered up a bit.

"Why?" I asked, with tears still running down my face.

"I don't know. She was a witch, a pure blood one and he was a Muggle. He hated the way she would use Magic, for anything, even if it was to help us. He tried to beat it out of her, and then me when I manifested my magic" He said, looking to his lap.

I took a tissue out of the box and handed it to him.

"I don't care if you cry, it'll be our secret. I won't tell anyone, promise" I said.

He took the tissue and gave me a small smile, which I took as a thank you.

"What was your Mum like?" I asked.

He smiled, like he was reminiscing.

"She was wonderful. She was tall, and had lovely long brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. She was my world. She was the kindest person in the world." He said.

"She sounds wonderful. Sounds like my Mum. She had blonde hair though, but she was the kindest person I knew. She'd do anything to help anyone, even people she didn't know" I said.

"What about your dad?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Dad worked a lot when I was younger, he worked overseas a lot. I didn't really get to see him, but when he was home he was great. He's read me bedtime stories, play games with me, and he taught me to play the piano" I smiled at the memory.

"But they're gone now" I said.

"Yeah" He echoed.

"Professor, do you want to sleep?" I asked. He had bags under his eyes that could hold a week's worth of shopping.

"We can sleep top and tail. That should make things easier" I said.

I saw his head nod and I carefully moved some pillows down to the end of the bed and climbed under the covers. He stayed on top of them.

"Thank you for letting me get that bit off my chest" I said into the silence.

"It's fine. If you want to talk, you know where I am" He replied.

**A/N So guys, what do you think? I know it's different and Snape is a little weird in it, but he has to have two sides. No one can be that snarky in private. **

**I've found a new love for Snape/Hermione stories, I hope you like this too! **

**Also guys, this story is taken from my account on Wattpad. I do own this story but sadly not it's characters. **

**YouSlyThing xx**


	2. Chapter 2

I felt crap. It was gonna be one of those days, I just knew it!

Taking a few deep breaths, I walked into the great hall. It was always the Great Hall that I had difficulty with. I don't know why it was so hard, but it was always hard to do.

As per usual, I gingerly took my seat opposite Harry and beside Ron. Harry and Ron were chatting about Quiddich. Harry seemed in a good mood today, he was chattier than usual.

As usual, I half filled my plate up. Being in a crap mood does affect one's appetite.

"Alright there Hermione?" Ginny asked. I smiled tightly and nodded.

"Sure?" Harry asked. I did the same.

I pushed the food around my plate, sometimes eating, but mostly avoiding it.

"Oh no" Ron groaned.

"What?" I asked.

"Snape's heading this way"

I looked up and he was walking down, and looking straight at me.

"Ms Granger, might I have a word?" He asked.

"She's eating" Ron interrupted.

"It's fine Ron."

I stood up and followed Snape out of the hall.

"You look like you could do with some tea"

"How'd you know?" I joked.

"After dinner? You can tell the dunderheads that I want to go over some of the points on your essay." He told me, giving me my excuse.

"But we didn't have an essay"

"Extra credit" He decided after a while. I nodded and headed back into the hall.

I was given the questioning looks as I sat back down.

"What?" I asked.

"Snape?" Ron quizzed.

"He wants to talk to me about an essay I handed up. He wants to know where I got my information" I lied.

"What essay?" Ginny panicked.

"It was extra credit"

"Why? Why do you do that?" Ron snapped. I jumped and angled myself away from him subconsciously.

"Do what?" I squeaked.

"Make us all look bad by doing more work than you have to!" He shouted. His raised voice was scaring me.

"Ron, you're scaring me" I whispered, gripping the chair.

"Oh? Am I? It's gotta be all about you now, doesn't it?" He boomed. I was jumping at every word he said.

"Ron, calm down!" Ginny chided.

"Why? To protect the little princess here?" He shouted.

He was really scaring me now. I was trying to push the chair back a little to get out and run.

"Ron! You're scaring her! You're scaring all of us!" Harry shouted.

"Oh! Scaring you am I? Can't scare the golden boy and the Princess now! Can we?" He cackled.

I had the chair out enough that when he was swinging his arms around, I could make a dash, and make a dash I did.

"Oh no you don't" He shouted and ran after me.

I kept running, scared he was going to get me. There was one place I knew he couldn't get me if I ran fast enough. I turned down the dark corridor and was pulled into an alcove, and a hand pushed itself firmly against my mouth.

I saw Ron run straight past.

"Don't make a sound"

Snape!

I nodded and he dropped his hand.

Ron seemed to realise that I had led him down a dead-end corridor.

"Come out Princess" He whispered. I could see the light of his wand was leading his way. He was going to see us. I held my breath when the light got closer. He shined his light in our alcove but moved on after a second. I was confused.

"Let's move" Snape said, taking my wrist and pulling me silently down the corridor. We reached the end and he gave the password quietly and we snuck in.

"How come he didn't see us?" I asked.

"Disillusionment charm" He explained, shaking his wand.

"Have a seat. I'll start the tea" He gestured to the couch.

I sat down, I was still shaking.

This place seemed to be the safest place in the castle. No one but Snape could reach me.

"Here we go" He said, handing me a steaming cup of lemon zing.

"Thank you." I took a sip. "How did you know I'd come down here?"

"This is where you seem to retreat to. And when we first spoke, you said my classroom was the only place where Weasley couldn't annoy you" He remembered.

"Thank you Professor. You seem to be making a habit of saving me" I smiled weakly.

"I think we can cut the Professor crap now. You've been in my quarters more than any teacher in this school. You have the password to my rooms for heavens sake. I think Severus will do"

"OK. Well then, no more Ms Granger crap, as you so eloquently put it. Hermione will do. Great tea by the way" I said.

"OK. Tea has been poured, you're sitting comfortably, we're exchanging pleasantaries. What made Weasley blow up?"

"He asked about why we were talking. I said it was about the extra credit essay and he blew up because I apparently make everyone else look bad by doing work that isn't required." I shrugged, trying to brush it off.

"I'm sorry"

"Why? You didn't explode in my face."

"No, but if it wasn't for me and telling you to tell the dunderheads that I wanted to talk to you about an extra credit assignment, he wouldn't have shouted at you. I'm truly sorry" He said, dropping his head.

"Severus, it's not your fault. Ron is a whiny, tempermental bitch who must be on his period" I snapped.

"OK, OK. We'll drop it for now. Unless you'd like to continue to gossip about him?" He asked.

"You just want gossip on the students to spread around the school" I smirked.

"Oh yes, because I like nothing better than sitting in the staff room with Minerva and Tralawney and Pomona and having a good gossip, like a 6th year" He rolled his eyes.

"I don't know! I could see you, glass of wine, a look of excitement on your face as you reveal the long list of students you caught with someone they weren't involved with!" I laughed.

"OK, you caught me, that's the real me" He joked.

I like these times, it was the only time I could have an intelligent conversation that wasn't about Quiddich or me doing homework for someone else. And believe it or not, Severus is quite funny. It's mostly a dark humour, but some light stuff shines through sometimes.

"Quick question, have you read the latest edition of Potions Monthly?" He asked, sipping from his cup.

"That's not out until next week. I read last month's edition. It was pretty good. I quite liked the article on mixing a pepper-up potion with a calming potion, the results looks strange but intriguing"

"Hm. I don't think it's viable. I mean, OK, the results on paper look plausable, but what if you were to really test it out? I think the potion would boil over. You would need a thicker base, like something from a healing potion" He explained.

"Yes, now that I think about it, the potion would reach the stage where the gilly weed would have to be added and it would be ruined. No, you're right." I nodded.

"Of course I am" He scoffed.

"Control your ego" I muttered before taking a long sip.

Just as I drained my cup, the fire before me erupted in green flames, causing me to jump and drop my cup.

"Oh Severus! I'm so sorry!" I said, picking up the broken cup.

"It's no bother. I can fix it in a heartbeat" He said, taking the pieces from me.

"Ah, Severus. And Ms Granger" Dumbledore smiled, climbing out of the fireplace.

"Headmaster" I greeted.

"Oh no! What happened to your cup? They're your favourites" Dumbledore said.

"I am so sorry! I didn't know they were your favourites, now I feel really bad" I said.

"I told you it's fine! I can fix this" Severus said.

"How did it happen?" Dumbledore asked.

"You came through the floo, and scared the life out of her. She dropped the cup and it broke" Severus said, concentrating on fixing it.

"There. All done" He said, holding up the now perfect cup.

"What did you want to see me about Albus?" Severus asked

"I actually came to see Ms Granger" He said, looking at me.

"Oh"

"Yes. I just wanted to see if you were alright after Mr Weasley's outburst."

"Yes, I'm fine. I had a nice chat with Sev- Professor Snape and he gave me a cup of tea. We were just discussing Potions before you arrived" I said, fixing my little slip up.

"Good. Well, I'll leave you to it then. Oh and Ms Granger? You don't have to hide the fact that you come down here. I know you've been down here a lot" The old man smirked. His eyes were twinkling like crazy. It made me nervous. His eyes only twinkled when he was planning something. I didn't like it.

"Th-Thank you Sir" I stuttered.

He gave a nod and then exited through the floo, his eyes still twinkling.

"I don't like that" Severus said once he was gone.

"You saw the eyes?" I asked. He nodded.

We got back onto the topic of potions and by the end of it, we had decided to create the potion that on combining the Pepper-up and the calming potion.

"I better go" I said, seeing that it was half an hour before curfew.

"Stay there a minute" He said, getting up and heading over to the floo. He stuck his head in it and floo called someone.

"Thanks"

"Weasley is up in Gryffindor Tower now, so you're gonna floo through to Dumbledore and he'll escort you back"

"Thank you" I smiled.

"Classroom tomorrow and we'll start on that potion?" He asked. I nodded and exited through the floo.

"Ah, Hermione my dear!" Dumbledore exclaimed.

"Hello Professor"

"Are you ready to go?" He asked. I nodded and gave him a polite smile.

"I've had some of the portraits keep watch on the halls to see if Mr Weasley was about. I've also asked them to keep an eye on you as you go through the corridors for a while. Just until everything settles down" He explained.

"Thank you Sir, you don't have to do that"

"No problem my dear. I wouldn't want any of my students to be scared in a place where they live"

We walked in silence for a minute until he spoke again.

"So, how is Severus?" He asked. I looked at him and those damn eyes were twinkling again.

"He's good. We were chatting about a theory in Potions and we decided to test that theory out tomorrow so we're going to be brewing during dinner" I said.

"Sounds like a wonderful idea. And who's idea was it?" He asked.

"Severus suggested it but we kind of both decided to do it" I said.

"Ah, he's allowing you to call him Severus is he? About time too" The old man smirked. I hadn't even realised I had made a mistake until he pointed it out.

"Y-yes Sir. He says that because we are talking a bit and we'll be working together that we should go on first names. But only in private" I said, until I realised how peverted that sounded.

"N-not that we do anything in p-private" I stumbled, trying to explain myself.

"It's alright dear. I know that Severus and yourself just talk. I actually have no qualms about it. I think it's an excellent idea. Severus has been so lonely all his life and he never really spoke to anybody. I think you're a breath of fresh air for him. You have just as much of a passion for potions as he does. I don't mind you spending time in the dungeons, just be discreet about it" He smiled.

"Thank you Sir. I hadn't really spoken to anyone all summer, not until the Be-Bellatrix incident. Severus has been kind enough to let me talk it out with him" I confessed.

"I figured. Have you told him about your parents?"

"Yes. He lost his parents young too, so it's nice to be able to talk to someone who's been through it. I mean, Harry's great and all but he didn't actually know his parents" I sighed.

"I understand dear. Well, in you go. And if you need anything, don't hesitate to owl me. And please be careful around Mr Weasley"

"Thank you Professor. I shall see you at breakfast tomorrow" I smiled and bid him goodnight before giving the password and climbing through the Portrait hole.

I sat down for breakfast the next morning happier than I did yesterday. Maybe my chat with Severus helped, or maybe it was the thought of a new research project. They always put me in a good mood.

"Morning" Ginny said, sitting opposite me with Harry.

"Morning" I smiled.

"You're very happy this morning" Harry commented.

I just shrugged and put some food on my plate.

Harry was chatting to Ginny about Ron, it was sort of background noise.

"So then he came up to me and asked me over and over about borrowing the map a few weeks ago. I eventually gave it to him because he was wrecking my head" Harry said

While this chat was going on, a lovely brown barn owl swooped down and left me a parcel.

"Who sent you that?" Harry asked.

"I dunno. I don't recognise the owl"

"Well, go on. Open it" Ginny urged.

I tore the paper off the box and took the lid off. Inside was a copy of Potions Monthly and a note.

'I know the publisher and he always gives me a copy before it's released. Thought you might like one too.

S'

It was the latest edition of Potions Monthly, the one that hadn't even been released yet!

I squealed and took it out of the box. God, I couldn't wait to read it.

"Who sent you that?" Harry asked.

"A friend at the people from Potions Monthly. They sent me a preview copy. This isn't being released until next week!" I exclaimed.

"It's only a magazine Mi" Harry laughed. I was so happy. This had just made my day.

The owl swooped back into the hall and dropped me another letter, but this time it stayed.

'Hermione,

Would 5.30 suit you for brewing? I got all the ingredients we need and I have set up some protective spells just in case anything goes wrong. We might have to take a potion or two ourselves before we start brewing, but other than that, we should be fine.

Also, Albus came back to me after he left you last night. He didn't say anything, he just smiled and sighed and his eyes twinkled like crazy. Any idea what happened? What did you say to him?

S'

I rolled my eyes and took out a quill.

'S,

I am free for 5.30, it suits me wonderfully. I've gotten "clearance" from Dumbledore about helping you. Those damn eyes didn't stop twinkling the whole walk to the tower! Did my head in, and it made me so bloody paranoid. He's up to something. I think we need to slip some Veritaserum in his tea one day.

We didn't talk about much on the walk, we just talked about me being down with you and how he's OK with it and how I'm a "fresh of breath air in your life". His exact words. I didn't say much, just tried to avoid his gaze in case I had to see that incessant twinkling again!

Thank you so so much for the magazine! I don't think you realise how happy you've made me! You have really made my day.

Right now, Ginny and Harry are trying their best to read what I'm writing, but don't worry, you're identity has been kept a secret! We wouldn't want the illustrious man exposed now would we? Where would I go when I need some Lemon Tea?

I've just had a horrible thought, I'll explain when I see you later, but god, we may have to go see Dumbledore about it. Damn! Why didn't I think of this before? I promise I'll explain when I see you. I think it's just put me down again.

Right, well Ron is glaring daggers at me right now. You know that phrase if looks could kill? I'd be lying dead on this hall floor right now.

Yours,

Hermione'

I tied the letter to the waiting owl and it took off again.

That horrible thought? Ron has the Marauders Map.

Shit!

It was making me jumpy now. My good mood was immedaitely eradicated.

What if he has been following my movements since the first night?

What if that's why Ron blew up?

What if he thinks we're sleeping together?

I gathered my stuff up quickly, needed to get away.

"Hermione? What's wrong?" Ginny asked, concerned.

"I-I have to go" I said and I fled the hall.

This was all going to go horribly wrong! The one good thing in my life, the one happy thing I have is going to be taken away from me, just like every other thing.

I could hear Harry and Ginny calling after me as I ran away. Hot tears streaked down my cheeks as the nerves and fear threatened to take over me. How could such a good day turn into something so bad in a matter of minutes?

"Hermione?!" Harry shouted.

He was getting closer! I would dart left and into a passageway. It would lead me to the hallway I hid in last night. I would disillusion myself and hide there until I could get away.

"Granger!" A second voice shouted. That wasn't Harry.

"Granger!" It boomed, getting closer. I slowed down. I could tell him here, and then go back into panic mode. Harry was with Severus.

"Hermione? What's the matter?" Harry asked. I could see he was really concerned.

"Pro-Professor I really need to talk to you." I choked out.

"Take a deep breath before you do anything" Severus said.

I tried to take a deep breath, but it wasn't happening. It was just making me more panicked.

"Here. Potter, help me get her through this passageway" Severus said, grasping my arm lightly and leading me behind Harry.

We made it through the passageway and ended up in the dungeons. Severus was now leading us down the familiar corridor.

My mind was running over time now and it was making me nauseas.

When Severus gave the password, I pushed him out of the way and ran to the bathroom where I threw up all the food I ate at breakfast.

Harry came in and held my hair back like a good friend. I coughed violently and fell back against the large bath, breathing heavily and still feeling like I could get sick again.

Wanting to get the taste out of my mouth, I crawled to the sink and pulled myself up, rinsing water through my mouth, and then I took a towel from the cupboard under the sink.

Harry helped me out to the sitting room where Severus handed me a cup of tea. I took one sip and recognised the light taste of a calming potion.

"Thank you" I whispered. The lemon was really settling my stomach.

The floo roared to life and I jumped, but Severus put a hand under my cup and it didn't spill any of the contents.

"Thanks"

He nodded and Dumbledore stepped out.

"Are you OK? I saw you run from the hall" He asked. I had a sense of Deja Vu. He was here last night asking me if I was alright.

"The map" I choked out.

"What map?" Severus asked.

"Marauders Map" I whispered.

"Hermione" Harry warned.

"Yes, what about it?" Severus asked, ignoring Harry.

"Ron has it"

"Ah" Dumbledore said.

"Ah? I have had one of the biggest freak out's of my life and all you can say is Ah?" I snapped.

"Hermione, calm down. Snapping will get you no-where" Severus chastised.

"Sorry, Headmaster. But this is a huge deal"

"I know dear. And we will get it back off him. Don't worry" Dumbledore assured me.

"I don't care about getting it off him right now, I care about what he's seen so far" I shouted.

"What is going on?!" Harry shouted.

I looked to Severus, to see what he was going to say. Luckily for us, it was Dumbledore who spoke.

"Do you remember when we had the incident with Bellatrix in the Great Hall?" Dumbledore asked. Harry nodded.

"I ran to the dungeons. Severus found me and brought me back to health" I said.

"I figured that. He delivered the letter to me" He said

"Hang on, Severus? Since when do you call him Severus?" He exclaimed, suddenly remembering that I had called him by his first name. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"After that attack, I really needed someone to talk to, so that night, when I woke up Severus and I spoke about everything that was on my mind." I explained.

"What about me? Or Ron? Or Ginny? Are we not OK to talk to?" He asked, offended. I sighed and dropped my head.

"Harry, there are certain things I don't broach with you guys. I would talk to you, but you have enough to be going through yourself. Ginny and I aren't as close anymore and Ron? He isn't the kind of person you can talk to"

"And HE is?"

"Harry. This doesn't concern you in the slightest, so don't you dare blow up at me. I've already had one friend blow up at me, I don't need a second!" I shouted.

Severus looked at me and raised his eyebrows. He was right, I needed to calm down. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"What was that?" Harry asked, looking between the two of us.

"Hermione needed to calm down. She was in danger of hurting herself" Severus said.

"What?"

"When I had the Bellatrix incident, I was cursed. Severus had to drain my magic from me. A side-effect of draining your magic is that it is unreliable afterwards. If I anger myself too much or get out of control with my emotions, my magic will reel me back in, but it hurts."

He was silent for a bit. He had his thinking face on.

"Are you two sleeping together?" He blurted out.

"What? No. Severus is my Professor, and that would probably be breaking school rules!" I said.

I didn't mention the time we slept in the same bed, cos that wouldn't go down well. I mean we've fallen asleep beside each other plenty of times before. It's kind of become normal now. But I wasn't telling him that.

"Forget this, what are you going to do to get the map back?" Severus asked.

"Me?" Harry asked, shocked.

"It is your map, is it not?"

"Well, yeah"

"Then?" Severus asked. He had his stern face on. He was as scared about people jumping to the wrong conclusions as I was.

"I'll send a house-elf in to his room to see if it's still in his possession" Dumbledore said.

"Winky!"

"Yes Sir. Whats can Winky do for yous today?" She asked, her little ears bouncing as she spoke.

"Could you please go to Mr Weasley's room and see if there is a map in his items. Make sure no one is there first. Thank you" Dumbledore smiled. The elf bowed and popped away.

"What do we do now?" Harry asked.

"Wait" I said, standing up.

"Tea?" I asked in general.

"Please" Dumbledore smiled.

Harry nodded.

"I'll help you" Severus said, following me into the kitchen.

As I walked past Dumbledore, he grasped my arm and whispered in my ear.

"There isn't a school rule stating that a student of age and a teacher can't have a relationship" He said and he winked at me. I was freaked out and a little disgusted.

"What's the matter?" Severus asked.

I silenced the kitchen door.

"I think Dumbledore wants to sleep with me" I said, shuddering.

"Why?"

"He told me that there wasn't a school rule stating a student of age and a teacher can't have a relationship" I blanched.

"Well, you always were his favourite student" He smirked.

"Oh ew! That's disgusting!" I shouted, slapping his arm. He chuckled and poured the tea.

We walked back out and I made Severus give Dumbledore his tea. Dumbledore whispered in his ear too and Severus paled. I smirked into his cup. He must have said the same thing to him. Good.

Winky came back a few minutes later, but she wasn't alone. Ron had his wand pointed at her.

"Looking for this?" He smirked evilly, holding up the map.

I swallowed. This wasn't going to end well.

**So, I hope you all liked Chapter 1. This is quite a long chapter and it got away from me a bit... sorry if it's all over the place! Well I really hope you like this. Please, please, please review this! I really want to know what you all think of it, even if it's bad, I can take it, I'm a big girl!**

**Once again I own nothing except my own weird imagination :)**

**Love YouSlyThing xx**


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